Maybe if I write it down

I own my home; with help from the bank.  I am the person on the title.  Carol is not.  I could try to force her to move.  But that would be difficult.  The other alternative is to move out. So what would happen if I moved out? Pros I wouldn't have to deal with Carol's negative attitude I could date with a lot less complications On the nights I did not have the kids, I could work late, do other things Cons It's my house.  Would I charge Carol rent?  I guess I could deed it to her, but she could not afford the mortage Maybe a creative divorce lawyer could figure this out. Let's say I gave here $2200 a month.  She could not pay the mortage with that.  Or come close.  If I just paid the mortgage and utilities how could I afford anything decent for myself.  I would miss the kids when I was not there.  And God only knows how much junk food they'd eat and tv they'd watch if I wasn't there! What about Max?  Coul...

My kids are healthy.   They seem to be doing well with school and activities.  One could be more ambitious, another could take up better eating habits, but they are thriving. I went on a great ski trip. Before that I went to Florida and saw my friend there.  I did not get to spend as much time with her as I would have liked. And I poured out my feelings a little too much.  But she is in my life. The day to day is still tough.  I love finding joy and I seek it.  But to share it would be lovely.   Sadly, the girls's mother does not seek or bring joy and I live with her.  I question this arrangement, but I guess I fear the alternative.  I accused her of living in fear earlier tonight in a text message to my friend in Florida.   But maybe its me who lives in fear.